Drained, But Doing It Anyway

I don’t feel like writing today.  Like at all.  That is an odd thing for me since I’m pretty geared up to write most of the time.

I am an introvert, which means I recharge when I am by myself.  The holidays, having the kids home, visitors, etc is all catching up to me.  I haven’t had a real, good, long stretch of time by myself for several weeks. Which means my patience is thin and my energy is just not there.

All I really want to do is go back to sleep.  Or sit and veg out until it is time to go to bed.  And when I say “veg” you better believe I mean watching a tv show or a movie, not picking up a book which takes more brain power.  This is a definite sign that I am depleted and need recharge time.

Three days ago, I was fine.  Managing my energy with my patience still intact.  I was even pumped up and ready to go for the new year with a new planner, new goals – all eagerly jumping up and down until I said, “Go!” Anticipation for the awesomeness that would go into the new year, even as I continued to do my best to finish out 2019 strong.

But I can only keep up for so long before my introvert self throws a fit to remind me that she has needs, too.  I know it, but I also know how the next few days will go.  I won’t really be able to give attention until after the weekend.  A little bit here and there, but overall, that big recharge is on back order.

So, that’s a bummer.   Which means today I must focus on the discipline I’ve been cultivating the last year.  Sitting in this chair to even write this thing was not sunshine and roses.  There may have been more than one sigh, but that’s okay.  Words are on the page.  I have my idea notebook out (since I don’t like the other two things I started to write on the first and the second).  So, I’ll pull one from the list and start writing.  Why? Because it’s my job, too.  And one day, hopefully soon, I’ll get paid for it.  Until then, I’ll practice all the habits I want to have when I go pro.

And for the record, I’m going to deliberately post this in the evening.  That way you can see my one million words 2020 challenge update at the end and know how disciplined I really was, and I’ll know too.  Gotta be accountable to myself.

Evening Notes: Below is my overall update.  For the record, today I wrote 3,189 words.  Not too shabby.  I did decide to keep going with one of my ideas from yesterday, so that’s good.  I even have a story line all plotted in my mind for the entire book, which is a plus and will help with the next round of writing.  This is what happens when you sit down and write even when you don’t feel like it.



One Million Words Challenge 2020 Update: 9,350


Photo by Sarah Youthed on Unsplash

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